Comments on: introduction

By: uberVU - social comments

uberVU - social comments — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 00:39:16 +0000

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by naoleiying: A Simplicity Manifesto in the Age of Distraction E-book http://bit.ly/aCpfm...

By: Alex M.

Alex M. — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:18:32 +0000

I am obviously wrong lol. The key is to focus.. it’s not about every other potential solution.

By: Alex M.

Alex M. — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:12:43 +0000

I don’t know at these point.

By: Alex M.

Alex M. — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:09:45 +0000

distraction…

By: Alex M.

Alex M. — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:09:26 +0000

If my reading comprehension served me well I believe what was said was meant.

“This won’t be a long book, a detailed treatise into modern life with an exhaustive system of remedies.”

I’d change it to

This won’t be a long book, but a detailed treatise into modern life with an exhaustive system of remedies.

I think one could have a short book with an argument about all the possible remedies to

By: Theresa

Theresa — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:29:19 +0000

I have to agree with the above comments. Because of your style of writing, you should limit the number of contractions you use. Also, Greg’s second suggestion seems the most simple, concise, yet complete thought. Judging by the introduction, the book sounds intriguing. Looking forward to reading the entire book.

By: Dale

Dale — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:24:00 +0000

I am a recent subscriber to Zen Habits and eagerly anticipate each installment. I am also a professional writer and editor. I prefer Greg’s second suggestion for your first sentence (This book will not be a long, detailed treatise….It will not provide….”) I also agree with Scott Sheperd. Finally–although I admit it’s counterintuitive–commas and periods go inside the quotation marks, not outside.

Best of luck with Focus, and thank you for the opportunity to comment. Thanks also for sharing your insights with us.

By: Greg

Greg — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:36:37 +0000

This is your first sentence:

“This won’t be a long book, a detailed treatise into modern life with an exhaustive system of remedies.”

I usually like the simplicty or your writing but this is cumbersome. This sentence is not simple, actually, its a bit convoluted.

I’m not a good writer, but how about this:

“This will not be a long book. It will not be a detailed treatise into modern life with an exhaustive system of remedies.”

“This book will not be a long detailed treatise into modern life. It will not provide an exhaustive system of remedies.”

“This book will not be a long detailed treatise into modern life describing an exhaustive system of remedies.”

“This will not be a long book. A book with a detailed treatise into modern life with an exhaustive system of remedies.”

Well, just an idea. I think you can improve the first sentence. The rest is great……concise, simple, and insightful.

This is just an idea,

By: Scott Sheperd

Scott Sheperd — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 02:22:02 +0000

This is pretty small but I would encourage you to use it will instead of it’ll. It fits the tone of what you are doing, I think, more appropriately. I love your stuff.

By: Caleb Monroe

Caleb Monroe — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 07:40:56 +0000

I look forward to doing my part. The approach reminds me of Jay Cross and Dave Gray’s “unbook” concept:

theunbook.com/2009/02/18/what-is-an-unbook/

It is through them that I discovered The Institute of The Future of The Book’s Comment Press, which is a WordPress theme that allows readers to comment paragraph by paragraph in the margins of a developing text:

http://www.futureofthebook.org/commentpress/

I have a book of my own I plan to assemble in a very similar process in the next year and toward that end look forward to watching FOCUS evolve from the perspective of both a reader and commenter!